[19 December 2022] Abundance, plethora of dots, random, seemingly. White, turquoise, red, loosely defining, representing, leaves and flowers, in a garden. Rough not much finesse, not fine, messy, an untended garden, a wild garden, with a calming colour in tension with this mess. Vertical pattern, seemingly random, but deliberately placed; a rhythm. Children at play, chaotic, fun. Surface water felection reflection, in tension with contemts contents contempts of the water. Disorientation, not easy to place oneself in the scene as a spectator, observer, viewer, in a three dimensional space. Abstractions, spiritual references, realities, moods, atmosphere, tension between real and fantasy, unreal, rough, brush, childlike brush strokes. Jesus and the children. Real, unreal, kitsch, loose, watery, loosely determined, categorised, placed. Hungering for some realism, tight rendering, instead of loose impressions. Layered, complex, but rough and loose.

[20 December 2022] Cloud, darkness, nothing, rpeptition repetition, eternal, outside, nanished banished, outside, where there is no rest, no determination, vague determination, the abyss, deep down into the abyss, where there is no determination, beyond concept, just one homogeneous roetition repetition of nothingness, vague patterns, undetermined. Art draws light from the dark (Maurice Blanchot), it recategorises by removing categories, and redetermining them, diving into the ocean, the abyss, letting go of oreconceived preconceived ideas, reordering, redoing, repeating endlessly, eternally, death, until death, until death is no longer a possibility.

Repetition, death, nothing, repeating nothing, eternally. Emptiness, no space, no time, nothing.

Flickering and snowing, raining, clipping, rustle, cutting, clipping, pure surface, front, fronting, confusing substance, no substance, fronting, becoming, growing into the front, grwoing growing into the mask, becoming the mask one wears, consciously projecting a front to others, made up of what you think they will like, made up of what you think you would like them to like about you. Facade, fronting, effort, a lot of money and effert effort, thought, consciously trimming, clipping, cutting a front. Determining, removing the unwanted, removing what you think others would not want to see.

Primal, sticking to nature. How primal are blooms, leaves, vegetation? One of the first things to exist in this world. Close to being the forst first, relatively primal. The age of the object. The amount of time it has existed in time, been determined as an object, sustained as an object, through time.

Repeating process, reordering into the same configuration as before, repeating, repetition reptition repair reparation redemption redo remaking running rerunning eternally, cycle, cyclical, waves on the surface of the water, not easy to see, cannot see the wave itself, only the distortion in the tension of the reflection and content of the water.

Overall form made up of a plethora of things, insignificant things, forming a significant form.

Ambiguity, moving off to God, or to nothingness. Being the nothingness. The nymphs have departed. Repeating nothingness eternally, eternal repetition of nothingness.

The impossibility of dying and experiencing ones own death. The eternal soul moving into paradise, lish garden lush garden, waterfall, reflection.

[18 January 2023] Jesus and the children, swimming, drowning.

Reflection of the sirface sir face surface, in tension with the contents of the pool, the pool of my subconscious, my mind, the undetermined vague intuitions, recognised by my consciousness, intelligence, starting to recognize a formstion form creatio. Of a form, formation of a concept an idea, the particular manifestation, a fruit, produced from a seed, that was planted and that grew below the line of consciousness, beneath the surface of the water.

And I watch with God beside me, with you beside me, patiently we watch the formations, and see the things that break the surface, and rise out of the pool. Becomings that gain determination, that recategorise my perception of you, and of reality.

Are there any serpents to be seen? I heard once that if you start seeing serpents, then you are close to God, that when one sees serpents, they are close to you, because among your creatures are serpents, and one of them, close to you, rebelled, and you created us humans to replace him, the one you once loved so much, and who loved you, and there is great sadness here because of that. But you are God, no one can hurt you, no one can shock you, your love overwhelms all, you are love, love is relationship with other things, ut but that are one with you. There is free will, the free choice, to reunite with you, to be your bride, to become one with you again, to float around in love, to be busy, to have fun, to have joy, and enjoy; and in that we praise you. It is your pleasure to see us in love with you, ecstasy, ecstatic, orgasmic, good feeling, pleasant, joyful, significant, satisfying, different, new and surprising, overwhelming, ardent, fierce, passionate, peaceful, tranquil, sober, always having free will, never desiring to part.